By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
I have written extensively about the power of narratives in psychotherapy, particularly in one of my favorite pieces, concerning the films of Quentin Tarantino. So I was kinda blown away when I ran across this article from Wired that makes a lot of the same points I’ve tried to make, only really cool because it’s about nuclear bombs going off in video games. I’m being sarcastic, but not really; my whole reason for this blog is to help people think about therapy and self-help in terms of pop culture that they enjoy in everyday life and to remove the stigma of mental health by helping people realize that tools are all around them and already in their personal arsenal. Your arsenal, that is. You hold the keys to solving current problems by examining past successes.
 
The section that most struck me from the Wired piece was “But losing is important. I’m not saying that games should be harder. I’m talking about the importance of failure to narrative.” This applies not just to challenging players in video games, but also to movies and to life. Think about something like Star Wars. Would it have been the same if, instead of getting caught by a tractor beam, the Millennium Falcon had simply waltzed up to the Death Star and blown it up? If Obi-Wan had never been killed by Vader (*spoiler alert--haha*)? No. Luke learned about the meaning of struggle, which gave his ultimate victory of blowing up the Death Star (and ultimately toppling the Empire) more meaning. He had to sacrifice to get there. Things inherently have more value in stories, and in life, if they are hard to get. Which is the point of failure in video games and the article on their lack, at times.
 
Think back about a time in your life when you have failed at something. And I’m not talking last week. Maybe several months or even years ago. There is the cliché that “there is always a silver lining,” but I think oftentimes we make that silver lining ourselves. When I was in grad school, I got a much lower than expected grade on an assessment exercise. As a result, I really applied myself and did much better and was commended by the professor on a project later in the semester. I realized that I didn’t quite understand what I was supposed to do, so I took a harder look at the textbook and other materials. My final work was much better and even meant more to me. Was I annoyed at the initial low grade? You better believe it. So there was a silver lining, but only because I did something differently.
 
So consider the failure that you identified from above. What did you learn from that failure? What did you do differently as a result of that failure? If you learned a new skill, how did you learn it? If you adjusted your attitude, how did you make that adjustment? What victory did this lead to and did it mean more to you once you defeated a challenge?
 
Now think of a challenge that you are facing currently, today, right now in your life. What lesson can you apply from a past defeat followed by victory. What about that new skill? What about a reminder that sometimes you do have to check your attitude or outlook? What about a reminder that things take time and patience is required, even if it’s hard? All of these, and more, can spring from failure. There is power in failure, but you have to harness it.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

Like what you see here? Follow Therapy Goes POP on Facebook!

By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
Galactic Empire, a metal band that specializes in metalizing (you guessed it) Star Wars soundtrack numbers just released a self-titled, full-length album. Though this is a novelty record through and through, it’s a pretty fun one. Their take on the Cantina Band theme is especially cool. Multiple music critics have made the assertion that heavy metal is rooted in classical music, especially the European classical tradition, and this album makes a pretty strong case. If you’re still not convinced, there’s a whole history of this type of metal/classical stuff, most successfully Apocalyptica plays Metallica.
 
OK, you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with psychotherapy? Well, it turns out that telling your story in a different fashion can really make a lot of difference. On one hand, the notes, rhythms, chord changes, etc. from the original Star Wars soundtrack are the same when an orchestra performs the score or when Galactic Empire rips it up. But, wait a minute. It sounds almost completely different when Galactic Empire does it. So is it the same, or not?
 
This “retelling in a different way” is something that can be helpful for postmodern therapists. When clients tell me a story, I will often tell it back to them, but sometimes in a more positive way or in a way that suggests there may be further action for them to take. To give a simplified example, a client might say “I spend a lot of time and money learning how to knit and I can’t even make a scarf!” which I might summarize to them as “you’re working really hard to learn how to knit but you’re not quite there yet.” No one has ever come to therapy to talk about knitting (yet) but people often are frustrated when they’ve tried to master something and are not succeeding. Once a therapist opens up a sense of possibility, the client can start building from there, in collaboration with the therapist, of course.
 
I might end up moving the talk along: “so you were making some progress with the scarf and you were able to knit a one-color scarf really well, but when you decided to make a three-color scarf it got pretty tough, right?” Clients will agree with this as the facts are still the same, but there is a different tilt to the story. Then it becomes possible to open up a discussion of possibilities, what has gone right with the knitting and how to apply those skills.
 
So when you’re checking out Galactic Empire, ask yourself: “what story have I boxed myself in on?” “What have I wanted to do and given up on prematurely?” It may be that you ended the story too soon and a re-telling may take it from an orchestral score to a full-on metal assault. Rock on, friends.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx. 

Like what you see here? Follow Therapy Goes POP on Facebook!

By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
An amusing post from Gizmodo calls attention to a new job for the Ewoks after Return of The Jedi. Though some have made a scientific argument that their moon of Endor home would have been demolished by the destruction of the Death Star by the Rebel Alliance, Chuck Wendig came up with a much happier outcome for the furballs in the novel Aftermath: Life Debt:
 

“Arsad smirks. ‘I could put you in for a therapy Ewok, instead. Some of the native Endor creatures have agreed to travel offworld to help veterans like you recuperate. As a matter of recompense for saving their home.’
 
‘Oh, yeah, I don’t want one of those. They smell horrible.’”
 

Personally, I’d be all about an Ewok therapy animal. We all have our down moments, and cuddling up with an Ewok for a screening of The Empire Strikes Back? Sign me up. Who knew they smelled bad? I guess it makes sense, but they seem like giant teddy bears so I assumed they had a nice, fresh smell. I have always questioned their intelligence given that they worshiped C-3PO as a god, but hey, these things happen when you see a golden man. And while the Ewoks get their share of fan hatred, even the most hardened Star Wars nerd can admit they’re a step up from the dreaded Jar-Jar Binks (shudder).
 
All kidding aside, what do therapy animals actually do? Companion animals and their uses are well-known, specifically their assistance to the blind and sight-impaired. However, they have uses relevant to psychotherapy as well. I mentioned “snuggling” above, but this can be one function they serve, with children especially. Dogs, as we know, are especially lovable and can provide comfort for children recovering from trauma.
 
In addition, dogs can be trained to sense when their owners are escalating emotionally and in danger of having a panic attack. It seems incredible, but when they sense physical changes they can “alert” (bark) which will let their person take appropriate action, whether it be to use coping skills, take medication or call someone in their support system.
 
Dogs can also be used in the therapy room. When I was in grad school, one of my fellow therapists had a great Dane, that was a certified therapy animal. This dog could be used in family therapy and would alert if the conversation became too heated. In one of the cases I observed in which the dog participated, the participants were a father and daughter deeply embroiled in a heated conflict. Their job during the session was to speak to each other calmly enough to keep the dog from alerting. I’m sure the massive size of the dog helped! But, in reality, she could not have been a sweeter animal. And the family succeeded in their job, speaking to each other respectfully and relatively calmly. Considering the intensity of their conflict, a major success.
 
So if you’re lucky enough to have a dog in your life, count yourself blessed. The benefits of owning a pet are myriad and you know they’ll be there for you when you get down. In addition, having an animal depending on you can boost self-esteem and give you a sense of purpose.
 
Dogs: man’s best friend. Ewoks: a Jedi’s best friend? Um, I’m stretching there. Yep.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

​
In recent weeks and months, there have been several stories in the media involving toys and perceived gender biases. One that specifically comes to mind is the video of the father whose son wanted a doll as a gift. Dad shot a video of himself giving the young boy the doll, and received all sorts of (deserved) kudos online. I’m guess he received a fair amount of backlash as well, but, if so, it was not heavily publicized.

More recently came news that the character Rey was left out of Monopoly games re-designed to tie in with global mega-blockbuster The Force Awakens. The official line on this is that the game manufacturers didn’t include her because her presence was a “spoiler” for the film. Hard to know how that could be, given that she appeared in the previews and is one of the first characters introduced, right near the beginning of the movie. But OK. Now comes news that a new round of Star Wars toys has arrived, and there is our friend Rey, front and center.

The natural assumption here (incorrect or not) is that an element of sexism is at play, and that Rey did not receive as many tie-in products because Star Wars is a “boys” movie and that these same boys aren’t interested in a Rey toy. But this overlooks one of the best elements of the The Force Awakens (mild spoilers ahead) which is that young women have a strong hero to look to on the screen. She is not helpless, waiting to be rescued by men. In fact, she dismisses Finn’s attempts to “save” her and quite effectively dispatches enemies. In addition, she does not exist simply as a romantic foil. In fact, she plays a key role in the plot and what small hints of romantic elements that do exist are unimportant.

Some people will be saying “toys? Who cares?” Study after study confirms the importance of toys, as it is a common way for children to express their emotions and to open up about topics they might not otherwise open up about. As regular readers of this blog know, one of the ways I engage clients in therapy is by speaking about pop culture. The Force Awakens opens up any number of opportunities for children to talk about things. What sort of message are we sending to children if a Rey toy is unavailable? That she is unimportant? Or, even worse, that girls are unimportant in Star Wars, one of the biggest cultural phenomena of all time?  

I, for one, am glad to see an extensive line of Rey toys now available.

 
Mike McMahan is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Antonio, Tx.