By Mike McMahan, LPC

​Huge kudos, thumbs up and all the rest to Disney for their announcement that the new live action Beauty and the Beast starring Hermione Granger herself will include an openly gay character. There are a lot of reasons that this is positive, many of which I discussed previously when advocating for #GiveElsaAGirlfriend. In the most predictable move ever, Christian social conservatives are not one bit happy. I know this goes against their values, but, really; it's not as if this is going to be some sort of explicit sex scene. It's Disney.
 
I’ve tried to more or less stay away from politics on this blog, because, let’s face it: there’s a million other places to discuss this and virtually every site in the world is Trump 24/7—love him or hate him. But the field of psychology is very pro-LGBTQ, as am I personally. But I also understand that the issue of homosexuality can be tricky to address with kids; as can, frankly, any issue of sex or sexuality. So how to discuss this matter with children, especially younger ones?
 
I am a big fan of books, and the best one that I know of concerning LGBTQ families is And Tango Makes Three, the charming story of a penguin with two dads. What I like about this book (besides everything) is that the fact that Tango has two dads isn’t a huge issue. It just is. That sort of normalizing is a perfect way to address an issue with kids without beating them over the head with it.
 
Another option is just to be open with kids. Though I am not gay, I do have LGBTQ friends, family and co-workers; as, I’m sure, the social conservatives railing against this film do. When my daughter, who is almost five, met a friend and colleague who is lesbian, I mentioned that she was getting married. When my daughter asked me about it, I responded that “mostly boys fall in love with and marry girls, and mostly girls fall in love with and marry boys. But sometimes boys fall in love with boys and girls fall in love with girls.”
 
Her response? “Oh.” Talk over.
 
Someday we will get to a place where this will be virtually everyone’s reaction. We’re getting there now, but we aren’t all the way there, clearly. The Bible is currently being used as the key argument against homosexuality, just as it was in the not-too-distant past, when interracial marriage was much more controversial (and much less common) than it is now. And when we hit that point, it won’t be news that there are gay characters. But we aren’t there yet. And for those LGBTQ youth who are scared and isolated, Disney’s move is an important step in letting them know they’re loved just like all children should be and deserve to be.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

Mike McMahan, LPC: Last year was a big year for Wonder Woman. DC Comics’ writer Greg Rucka confirmed that she is bisexual in a lengthy interview with Comicosity. This interview raises a number of interesting points about the difficulty in defining sexuality and how language plays a role. In addition, Wonder Woman was announced as an ambassador for the UN—before being dropped just two months later.
 
There were multiple perspectives on whether this was a feminist move on the part of the UN or not. But coming as it did, in early December, an argument can be made that women finished the year in a weaker position than many had assumed they would just weeks before. Specifically, virtually every pundit and politico expected that the United States would be electing its first female president, Hillary Clinton. No one would argue that Donald Trump’s victory was a victory for women, save perhaps Trump himself (“the women love me!”). That said, a significant number of women voted for him, so that is not to go unmentioned, either. Though I’m still skeptical that they found him a champion for women, specifically, as opposed to a good leader for the US in general.
 
Our heroine, Wonder Woman, is poised to make a comeback in 2017, though—maybe. The standalone Wonder Woman film will be released this year and will likely make piles of cash. On the other hand, she appeared in Batman Vs. Superman, largely considered one of the worst movies of last year. And DC fared no better, review wise, with Suicide Squad, though I liked it.
 
Gisell, there’s a lot to unpack here. You’ve told me before that you’re a Wonder Woman fan. Where do we start?
 
 
Gisell Alvarez, LPC-I: Well, we have a lot to discuss here. I love Wonder Woman for many reasons, some of them significant and others not too much. First of all, she is a heroine and that's something we don't see frequently in the comics universe.
 
She has been heroic and outstandingly strong without her special powers; she was a regular woman and kept being super, refusing to accept the fact that other men told her she was occupying places where a woman shouldn't be. She did what she wanted to do with justice and honor and never allowed her gender to define her aspirations, goals, or role.
 
She is independent, smart, and ambitious. She has been in love, but it didn't affect her purpose in life (even though, Steve kind of had to die to make things easier to keep her independent, which I don't agree with).
 
She is a brunette. This feels very silly, but as a Latina woman, it is very difficult to try to identify with blonde women. Wonder Woman has dark hair just as I do, and at the time I was a child, that meant the world.
 
 
Mike: I don’t think of that as silly at all. We’ve talked previously about the lack of non-white heroes (Elena link) and I’ve discussed it almost ad nauseum on the blog. I think that having a diverse array of heroes in pop culture (super- or otherwise) is helpful to the world at large, but it is also helpful in therapy, especially for the type of things I do to engage teenage clients. When you’re a young person, you identify with pop culture in a more meaningful way, which is something I’ve become aware of as I age and something I notice with clients. When I was in grad school, one of my cohorts remarked that I frequently commented on t-shirts that kids were wearing. It’s totally true! But they always responded well, too. When you’re in your adolescence t-shirts, and the pop culture images contained on them, can really project a developing sense of identity and belonging.
 

Gisell: For a long time, there was speculated among fans that Wonder Woman was a lesbian or bisexual. In the beginning, it was due to the way the Amazons live, but then more and more reasons were added. I always wanted her to be something other than a heterosexual woman. As a bisexual woman myself, the fact that she could be a lesbian or bisexual made her even more relatable.
 
And we were told last year she was bisexual, and that's remarkably significant. Bisexual women and men very often are not only discriminated by the heterosexual population, but also by homosexual women and men. Bisexual women and men are frequently told they don't know who they are, that they are confused, that they are cowards, or just sexual players. Both, heterosexual and homosexual populations tend to push bisexual women and men to "take a side" in order to be "real". So, today we have such a strong character, with a tremendously strong sense of identity, who is a bisexual woman. Some of the beauty of it is that, in the end, it doesn't define who she truly is. Wonder Woman is a fantastic and unique heroine that has the incredible privilege of potentially falling in love with women and men. And we need that kind of representation in the pop universe.
 

Mike: Addressing her sexuality certainly opens up a myriad of possible story lines and characters. As you say, you obviously identified with the character, and I am confident that other young women (and men) will identify with this as well. Previously, when I wrote a piece about the possibility that Elsa (of Frozen fame) might be lesbian, One Facebook commenter took strong issue with the idea. I understand that there would be quite a lot of blowback to this decision and with the amount of money involved in this franchise, this is not a move Disney is likely to make, despite being a very pro-LGBTQ company. But my gut reaction to this resistance is “if you don’t like this direction, feel free to watch a different movie.” There are so many shows and movies that there is room for a myriad of character types and if a viewer chooses not to engage with a character who is lesbian, no worries, there are plenty more Disney princesses to choose from. Like, you know, all of them.
 
I have this knee-jerk idea that women would support Wonder Woman across the board on all of the above issues. But, if you look at the voting records of women, it seems that the idea of women banding together and voting as a bloc is incorrect. Now, there may be a lot of reasons people did or did not vote for Hillary, in the same way that there are a lot of reasons people did or did not vote for Trump. But it seems relatively clear (as clear as anything is in 2017, anyway) that this idea of women voting together en masse in the way ethnic or racial minority groups do was mistaken. Perhaps we see the split in women’s feelings on so-called “women’s issues” reflected in the ups and downs of Wonder Woman.
 
 
Gisell: It's been a challenging and interesting year for women and feminists, feminicides increased in South America, the term "feminazi" has been spreading out in social media, celebrities are using feminism as a marketing strategy, and the president-elect of The United States thinks he can grab us by our vulvas. And yes, the fact that Hillary Clinton is a woman was one of the reasons Donald Trump won the election, in my opinion. Americans seem not to believe that women can do a job that has been only assigned to men; Americans appear to not believe women and men are equals.
 
On a few occasions, women have run as presidential candidates in my country, Colombia. There, we don't believe women can do the job either. However, for the first time in our history, a lesbian women is a presidential pre-candidate, and I think we need to celebrate it.
 
Now, the short time Wonder Woman had as a UN ambassador did not surprise me. I understand both sides. The supporters that see the positive impact of it, and the detractors that see how Wonder Woman aesthetics could send the wrong message. However, I can't help but ask myself, would we say the same if the ambassador was to be Superman, with his very exaggerated body aesthetics? What do you think, Mike?
 

Mike: The question is almost rhetorical. I’m pretty confident that no one would care one bit. The hulking man fits in with the stereotype of masculinity that has been pounded into all of us for years. He looks like the kind of guy that fought Nazis during WWII. I’d like to think that he’d fight the alt-right now, but that’s a different topic. I’ll note it for the future!

I’m behind on DC movies and haven’t seen Batman vs. Superman. All of my friends are saying it sucks, so maybe I’ll skip it—I’m not a masochist. But all this Wonder Woman talk has me curious about that movie. Coming in June of this year!
 
 
Gisell: Wonder Woman is coming back from the hand of Zack Snyder, a director I like, but whose cinematic aesthetics I consider markedly exaggerated. We saw the incredibly huge bodies of the Spartans in 300, and the incredibly thin bodies of the Sucker Punch girls. Something that we see again in the growing Justice League: beautiful slow motion, "out-of-our-reality-bodies", not too impressive acting, and very poor screenplays. We'll see what Wonder Woman's movie bring for us, the trailer was awesome--let's see later...
 
 
Mike: I like Zach Snyder, too. Watchmen was great and very faithful to the source material. He does have a style of exaggeration and a sort of hyperrealism. He exaggerates sexuality at times, but then will look away or wink. I noticed that especially in 300, which to me was overtly homoerotic, yet featured a minor female character (possibly the only one, I can’t recall for sure) in a shower scene. It struck me as “all you guys watching this insanely masculine film, never fear! Here’s a naked girl!” I’m fairly confident that the homoeroticism was on purpose, or at the very least not lost on Snyder.
 
As far as Sucker Punch, I don’t disagree about the thinness of the girls, but that’s a problem of Hollywood at large and as a fanboy of Sucker Punch… well, what can I say. I’m a guy! I enjoyed the eye candy aspect, even though I feel a bit guilty saying that. I suppose it’s “movie fan Mike” versus “therapist Mike.” It’s pretty rare to see a huge Hollywood pic evoke a postmodern aesthetic outside of Quentin Tarantino. But unrealistic body types is a YUGE problem for Hollywood. And is reinforced by so-called “women’s magazines,” although there is pushback to that going on in the world of satire well as serious journalism in places like Teen Vogue. I must confess I don’t know anything about Teen Vogue besides the fact that I’ve seen it at grocery store checkouts, so if they had this caliber of people before, I was not aware of it and it is certainly to be applauded.

But back to the topic at hand, how would you utilize all these new Wonder Woman perspectives when working with a client?
 
 
Gisell: Wonder Woman could be a good inspiration in a mirror work with a client. So, you have Wonder Woman here, but she is more than the iconic comic character. She is all that our clients want a super woman to be--she is the reflection of those strengths and qualities a client would like to pursue; even more, she is the reflection of those strengths our clients often don’t allow themselves to believe they can embrace or develop.
 
Wonder Woman is a mirror to find the strength within us. This approach is a sort of projective technique, and I know these kinds of techniques are highly polemic. But, in my opinion, very often they are liberating because clients are invited to talk about themselves in a non-direct way, and this is more comfortable, especially during the initial sessions.
 
So, maybe we have a female client who has been repeatedly abused emotionally and psychologically by her spouse. She has come to you because she is feeling "nervous" all the time, her heart palpitates rapidly with no reason, and she feels she can't control her breathing.
 
You can see how your client is struggling with anxiety, not sleeping well and is not eating well, either. With reluctance, you learn the details and now you know her spouse abuses her in a daily basis, and she is so frightened and ashamed she is not willing to talk about it with you. She is not willing to allow herself to think she can advocate for herself and stop the abuse.
 
Now you bring Wonder Woman into the conversation, and you guide your client to use this iconic character to represent all the strengths she would like to embrace without pushing her to get immersed in a reality she is not willing to face. However, you are already identifying all those elements that would eventually help her to get more empowered and confident.
 
When talking about superheroes and superheroines, every one of them is seen depending on the color of the lenses of the viewer, and that's because comic superheroes have something of us, something that we consider super and extraordinary; and that perception is a source of knowledge about what a person values as strength and exceptionality, which is something we, the therapists, should always look for in our clients.
 
 
Mike: I couldn’t agree more. That is a great perspective that I believe a lot of women could benefit from. Thanks for being so forthright in this discussion. I really learned several things!
 
 
Gisell: I enjoyed it, too.
 
 
Mike: Until next time…


Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.
 
Gisell Álvarez, LPC-Intern is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx. She is currently under the clinical supervision of Mary Contreras, LPC-S.
​

By Mike McMahan, LPC

Evan Rachel Wood has been in the news quite a bit lately, due to her lead role on the fascinating new HBO series Westworld. The series deals with robots in a futuristic amusement park who endure all matter of violence in an Old West setting. The robots’ memories are then wiped and they repeat the experiences over and over. However, as the show opens, they have become sentient and begin to remember what has occurred in their pasts. The show itself provides plenty of food for thought on how we deal with trauma as well as providing a commentary on how the entertainment industry (and HBO, specifically) uses violence (especially sexual violence against women) as a plot device.

Wood gave a recent interview with Rolling Stone in which she dropped some serious knowledge bombs about bisexuality and psychiatric struggles; talked about her years ago relationship with aging shock rocker Marilyn Manson who is 17 (!) years her senior; and hinted at a history of sexual violence in her own life. While the matter is oblique in the actual interview, she clarified in a powerful statement on Twitter that she had, in fact, been raped twice. “I will not be ashamed ... I don't believe we live in a time where people can stay silent any longer. I certainly can't. Not given the world we live in with its blatant bigotry and sexism.”

Kudos to Wood for being brave enough to speak out on this matter. While certainly no one should be required to acknowledge such a matter publicly, each time someone does (especially someone who is famous), it chips away with the stigma associated with being sexually assaulted. There are many recent cases in the news in which young men have received light sentences or in which the judge has implied that the victim is somehow to blame: this reflects our so-called “rape culture.” The strength of someone like Wood may show that women (or men) who have been assaulted do not have to accept some sort of blame or suffer in silence for fear of persecution.

What impressed me the most about Wood, however, was not her bravery in speaking out but, instead, her acknowledgement that her role in the show was therapeutic for her. “Good God. I left so much in that first season and never looked back,” is a great attitude to have. When I have worked with sexual assault survivors, I talk about their path to recovery as a journey. Though I obviously wouldn’t wish trauma on anyone, people may come out on the other side of their recovery from the experience much stronger. In this case, Wood, who is magnificent in the show, is able to use past trauma to inform her performance and inhabit the character in a way that many other actresses would not have been able to. Given that one of the primary themes of the show is how we move on from trauma, it could be that the role itself will be key in her realizing new opportunities in her life. To be clear, I am not suggesting that survivors “get over it.” What I am suggesting is that one’s status as a survivor may allow mastery of new skills and that these survival skills may be applied successfully in other areas of one’s life.

If you have been assaulted and wish to speak to someone about the experience, consider your local Rape Crisis Center. You can also seek assistance via RAINN.

 
Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

By Gisell Álvarez, LPC-Intern
 
One of the privileges of learning a second language, especially one as universal as English, is the chance to enjoy TV shows and movies in their native tongue. When they are translated there are always elements that you lose: the jokes are not the same, the irony doesn’t display the same dynamic, and some dialogue doesn’t have the same impact. When I was back in my native country, Colombia, I saw Modern Family “in Spanish.” Voice actors interpreted the original English dialogue, and even though their acting skills are awesome, the spirit of the sarcastic and ironic humor so characteristic of Modern Family wasn’t there. Therefore, I felt frequently uncomfortable and sometimes even offended by the show’s content.
 
And then I came to the United States and started to learn English. Once I saw Modern Family in English, it was like seeing a totally different show. I found it brilliant, hilarious, and very refreshing. Modern Family generates very contemporary reflections of and discussions in our society. It is a conversation that I consider extremely necessary. From the quirks of the gay parenting journey to the adventure of living in a multicultural family, this show helps us, as unique individuals, to connect with diversity. This diversity, by its very nature, presents some elements distant from us and others very close to our own realities.
 
Of course, Sofia Vergara’s role is especially important to me, given that she and her son in the show (Manny Delgado) are Colombians, as am I. They have shared some of our Christmas traditions and our values, and Sofia has put a spotlight on our cultural flavor with so much grace and humor. Now that we are on the map, more people know we exist beyond narcotrafficking and violence. This new exposure feels very nice; as a Colombian, it feels inclusive, and, as a Colombian living in the United States, it feels welcoming and accepting.
 
This is the power of media: the representation of cultural niches or minorities in TV shows and movies generates a sort of globalization that puts diversity in the middle of a society’s daily routines. Through its content, and its inclusion in our realities, it brings diversity to the discussion we need to have to embrace minorities and accept them. This on-screen visualization that is different from the normative cultural expressions could potentially encourage acceptance, and, maybe more importantly, self-acceptance for those who feel newly included.
 
As a clinician, the different cultural elements around and inside a client are determinant of a real understanding of the person: their struggles, their needs, their strengths, their preferences, fears and joys. I’ll be ambitious and even say their entire realities.  Some who are part of a minority constantly crave inclusion, a feeling that may be magnified when you are not only ignored, but also rejected. When working with clients that belong to a minority, the acknowledgment of these cultural characteristics can be very vital in the rapport establishment process, as well as in the construction of an accurate picture of their life or situation.
 
Modern Family exemplifies how to establish this dialogue. Instead of making assumptions, I will show willingness to hear what you have to say, and I will acknowledge it and include it in our therapeutic work.
 
A couple of weeks ago Modern Family featured one of TV’s first transgender children, a character portrayed by transgender child actor Jackson Millarker. This wasn’t only groundbreaking, but terribly necessary, too. The message was that transgender girls and boys are part our realities, part of our families, and more importantly, they are welcome in the media representations of the family dynamics.
 
But there is something else. This episode was not only about a transgender character, it was also about making the statement that transgender actors have a place in our pop culture and that transgender talent matters. For a minority that is so frequently rejected, and for whom employment options are so dramatically limited, this visualization represents hope and the chance for inclusion and equality.
 
Other TV shows and films have included transgender adults; however, transgender children remain in the dark. When I have worked with transgender clients, this lack of referents and sources of identification is one of the main challenges, not only for the client but also for me, as a therapist. As I mentioned above, self-acceptance is a very present struggle for many minorities, and for transgender children it’s a constant fight: “is there something wrong with me? Am I normal? Did I deserve to be loved? Am I allowed to go to school, college? Will somebody hire me some day?”
 
These are constant questions and doubts that frequently result in symptoms of anxiety and depression, self-harm actions, feelings of isolation and even suicide. The fact that our society is now willing to work on the visibility of the transgender community and express it through medias give us new therapeutic elements that we should be eager to provide to our clients. As clinicians, it’s our duty to take initiative and invite our clients to include cultural elements in the therapeutic work, though it will be their decision how deeply they want to explore.
 
If you are struggling with any of the feelings mentioned above, whether you are transgender on not, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional.
 
 
Gisell Álvarez, LPC-Intern is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx. She is currently under the clinical supervision of Mary Contreras, LPC-S.