By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
An amusing post from Gizmodo calls attention to a new job for the Ewoks after Return of The Jedi. Though some have made a scientific argument that their moon of Endor home would have been demolished by the destruction of the Death Star by the Rebel Alliance, Chuck Wendig came up with a much happier outcome for the furballs in the novel Aftermath: Life Debt:
 

“Arsad smirks. ‘I could put you in for a therapy Ewok, instead. Some of the native Endor creatures have agreed to travel offworld to help veterans like you recuperate. As a matter of recompense for saving their home.’
 
‘Oh, yeah, I don’t want one of those. They smell horrible.’”
 

Personally, I’d be all about an Ewok therapy animal. We all have our down moments, and cuddling up with an Ewok for a screening of The Empire Strikes Back? Sign me up. Who knew they smelled bad? I guess it makes sense, but they seem like giant teddy bears so I assumed they had a nice, fresh smell. I have always questioned their intelligence given that they worshiped C-3PO as a god, but hey, these things happen when you see a golden man. And while the Ewoks get their share of fan hatred, even the most hardened Star Wars nerd can admit they’re a step up from the dreaded Jar-Jar Binks (shudder).
 
All kidding aside, what do therapy animals actually do? Companion animals and their uses are well-known, specifically their assistance to the blind and sight-impaired. However, they have uses relevant to psychotherapy as well. I mentioned “snuggling” above, but this can be one function they serve, with children especially. Dogs, as we know, are especially lovable and can provide comfort for children recovering from trauma.
 
In addition, dogs can be trained to sense when their owners are escalating emotionally and in danger of having a panic attack. It seems incredible, but when they sense physical changes they can “alert” (bark) which will let their person take appropriate action, whether it be to use coping skills, take medication or call someone in their support system.
 
Dogs can also be used in the therapy room. When I was in grad school, one of my fellow therapists had a great Dane, that was a certified therapy animal. This dog could be used in family therapy and would alert if the conversation became too heated. In one of the cases I observed in which the dog participated, the participants were a father and daughter deeply embroiled in a heated conflict. Their job during the session was to speak to each other calmly enough to keep the dog from alerting. I’m sure the massive size of the dog helped! But, in reality, she could not have been a sweeter animal. And the family succeeded in their job, speaking to each other respectfully and relatively calmly. Considering the intensity of their conflict, a major success.
 
So if you’re lucky enough to have a dog in your life, count yourself blessed. The benefits of owning a pet are myriad and you know they’ll be there for you when you get down. In addition, having an animal depending on you can boost self-esteem and give you a sense of purpose.
 
Dogs: man’s best friend. Ewoks: a Jedi’s best friend? Um, I’m stretching there. Yep.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
Kudos to actress Bella Thorne for opening up about her sexuality. The fact that this seems to be pretty much non-controversial shows how far we, as a society, have come in accepting LGBTQ role models. I believe society will benefit as a whole from this kind of openness—especially LGBTQ youth.
 
As a whole, there seems to be some confusion and skepticism about bisexuality. Many of us have heard comments such as “all women are bisexual” or “bisexual means they aren’t totally out of the closet” or “that means they’re just experimenting.” I have heard them both in my professional and personal life. All of these statements reflect different levels of misunderstanding.
 
Earlier this year, the National Health Statistics Reports published an article based on Department of Health and Human Services stating that “5.5% or women and 2.0% of men stated they were bisexual.” The higher rate of women who identify as bisexual may reflect a level of comfort with female same-sex attraction and sexual activity that does not extend to males. Whether pornography has contributed to this or simply reflects the phenomenon is likely open to debate. Either way, the statistics refute the idea that “all women are bisexual.” That said, like so many things in the world of psychology, the answer may not be so clear cut. Another study suggests that, in fact, women have a different physical response to sexual arousal. “Men who identify as heterosexual become aroused when watching films of women but not men. Gay men tended to be aroused by films of men. This is very different with the women in her research. No matter how they identified in terms of their sexual orientation, they were more likely to show the same pattern of arousal to men, women, and both.” Therapist Isaac Archuleta makes some interesting points about the bisexual experience. He comes from a personal perspective on the matter and has written openly about his experiences.
 
Many mental health experts believe that sexuality exists on a spectrum, which makes it difficult to say with a degree of scientific precision who is “gay” or “straight.” In my personal work with clients, I go with how they self-identify. If someone tells me they are bisexual, I accept that at face value. On the other hand, if a woman tells me “I’m straight, but I like to hook up with girls occasionally,” I accept that at face value as well. There is no benefit for the client if I respond “you’re not straight, you’re bisexual.” If the same female client mentioned above said “I think I’m straight, but I like to hook up with girls occasionally and I’m not sure what to call myself or what to think,” that would be an entirely separate matter. I would want to explore with her how she would like to self-identify, how much she would want to share with the world at large, her family and so forth. In short, the area of sexual identity may not be clear cut for a number of people.
 
These issues can be difficult for young people, which led to the creation of the “It Gets Better” project, which features people talking about the challenges of growing up LGBTQ, and the way that young people’s lives may improve once they get through youthful challenges. One of the key purposes of the project is to reduce the appalling number of suicides among LGBTQ youth.
 
However bisexuality is defined, Bella Thorne deserves credit for addressing the issue head-on. Somewhere out there is a young woman struggling with these very issues and she is undoubtedly comforted by the fact that she has an ally to look up to.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC, is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
When Robin Williams committed suicide two years ago, the entire nation mourned. He left behind a vast library of work that covered a wide range of the emotional spectrum, from Jumanji to Good Will Hunting to What Dreams May Come to One Hour Photo. We all have our favorite(s).
 
But while we may have felt his loss acutely, that feeling likely doesn’t compare to what his family members went through. His daughter, Zelda Williams, recently spoke about her journey through grief and the death of her father.
 
When I have a client that has a loss in their life, I remind my clients that though their loved one has passed, they will still live on in our memories and our heart.  I ask them to consider what their loved ones would say to us if they were here. I also ask clients to consider how they will keep their loved one’s contributions to the world alive for others. In the case of Robin Williams, this may be an easy question. After all, his most famous films will likely be enjoyed for years to come. But that is an answer for us, as the public and does not reflect how a close family member might feel. Perhaps they treasure those movies as much as we do; perhaps not. Until his family members address that subject, we have no way of knowing.
 
There are also coping strategies that can help a person cope with grief. I was impressed to see that Zelda was using several good ones. “…for a while, I was kind of left to my own devices and a lot of stuff came out of that, because I ended up writing 12 scripts.” Writing and other artistic pursuits can be a great coping mechanism. Art can be a great way of exorcising emotional turmoil, as evidenced by, well, every artist ever. There must be a reason that artists seem to live volatile, troubled lives. Many would likely agree that artists feel things deeply and see things in ways that others may not. This perspective gives them insight, but may come at a cost.
 
In the article cited above Zelda also says that she has “gotten involved in one charity that dealt with ‘rescue dogs, people suffering from disabilities, and our nation’s wounded veterans’ — freedomservicedogs.org.” Volunteering can help a person get out of their own head and making a positive impact in the world can help us move on from grief in a healthy way.
 
Kudos to Zelda Williams for speaking out and setting such a great example.
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC, is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.

By Mike McMahan, LPC
 
Recently, Dorkly published this amusing mashup video which shows the havoc that might occur if our favorite iconic video game characters received a power up device from a different game. I think it’s fair to say “all hell would break loose” and that major ass kicking would occur. The video shows what could happen, and it’s funny and awesome.
 
Most of us don’t have access to fire flowers or other magical items in our everyday lives (If you know where I can get a fire flower, let me know. It might come in handy at work or in 5 o’clock traffic). But I do believe that we can expand the coping tools that we have at our disposal by looking at others we admire and seeing how they do it: that person might be a friend, family member, or Link. OK, maybe not Link.
 
Think of a person in your life your look up to or admire. You don’t have to believe this person is perfect—after all, who is? They just need to have one or more qualities that you admire or perhaps aspire to have.
 
In my case, I have a friend who has a seemingly supernatural ability to stay calm, no matter what. I can only think of one occasion where he expressed anger or strongly reacted to a situation. I really admire this, as it helps him respond rationally to tough situations at work and to stay calm with the frustrations that life can sometimes deal in spades. I would like this skill because while I can stay reasonably calm, I am nowhere near as serene as my friend and his Buddha-esque state of relaxation. I think it’s important to choose something that you want to make a marginal improvement with as you initially complete this exercise, as it is easier to make a long-lasting change when the basic building blocks are already present.
 
So once you’ve chosen a quality you’d like to possess (or in this case, a “power up”) ask yourself the following questions.

1. When could I use this skill?
2. How would it be helpful in the situation I’ve chosen?
3. How would people react differently to me if I had this skill/power up?
4. What would I do differently when people acted differently towards me?

 
I think in the case of my example, I would like to be able to stay calmer with everyday work frustrations. It would be helpful, because when I stay calm, I am able to think more clearly and make better decisions. I think if I stayed calmer, people would trust in my decisions more because they would know they I was always acting with rationality and logic, rather than emotion and frustration. I think that when people have more confidence in my decisions, they will feel more confident themselves in implementing them. In turn, I suspect this would increase my confidence.
 
Something to consider once you have completed these questions is: what if I acted in the way I want to be seen? For example, in my case, if I acted more confident in decisions, would it help me stay more calm? This may or may not be true, but sometimes we can act in such a way that what we perceive as the end result may help us build the initial skill. While it’s tricky and can be counterintuitive, I know it can work, as I’ve seen it be successful with my clients.
 
So ask yourself: what is a power up not currently available in my personal video game, and how can I borrow this from someone else’s game?
 
 
Mike McMahan, LPC, is a psychotherapist based in San Antonio, Tx.