![]() As I mentioned in my previous post (http://www.mikemcmahanlpc.com/therapy-goes-pop-blog/how-the-hateful-eight-simulates-being-a-psychotherapist), I recently saw The Hateful Eight. I was pretty darn psyched about it, so this week let’s have a double dose of Quentin Tarantino here at Therapy Goes POP. Two guns blazing, just like one of Tarantino’s influences, Hong Kong action maestro John Woo. Like my previous post, this post will also contain some minor *SPOILERS* for The Hateful Eight. The counseling theories that I work from (Solution Focused Brief Therapy and Narrative Therapy) fall under the umbrella of postmodernism. What is postmodernism exactly? I see it used frequently and it is one of those “buzzwords” that gets thrown around a lot and is used as an opening to discuss all sorts of things. A lot of people seem to think the work itself refers more to a style of writing/thinking/creating rather than having much meaning on its own. This is, frankly, a criticism I can understand, though I do believe that it is one of the more important philosophical trends to emerge during the last century. The Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postmodernism) is actually quite informative, though, like much of the writing on postmodernism, is at times impenetrable for mere mortals like you and I. For our purposes here, perhaps we can agree that postmodernism posits that there are multiple “truths” and that each of our own personal truths are filtered through our own experiences. This includes broad categories of experience such as gender, race and sexual identity. But (and this is important for readers of this blog) we are also influenced by cultural and artistic communications that we encounter, including books, music, movies and TV. I am a strong believer that forms of entertainment that move us deeply have the power to shape our experiences and our worldview. In fact, that is the underlying premise for this entire blog. Based on his films and content of interview, I am confident that Quentin Tarantino would agree with this assertion. Another basic tenet of postmodern and points of view opens the door to the idea that women and minorities have been underrepresented in history, literature and other forms of cultural communication, which is something I do believe is true. Race and how we, as Americans, discuss it is a big theme in Tarantino’s work, and The Hateful Eight is certainly no exception. One of the big criticisms of Tarantino’s work is that he “steals” from films that he enjoyed (or was inspired by) in the past. The most obvious defense is the old adage “amateurs borrow, professionals steal” which has been true in art and music forever (I’m looking at you as a great example, Led Zeppelin). But, yeah, appropriation has always been an element in any successful art. You can’t reinvent the wheel every time. I think that this use of homage is an artistic choice on Tarantino’s part, much like sampling is a key part of hip hop and electronic music. He certainly cannot deny the strikingly similar scenes lifted virtually shot-for-shot from earlier movies. Take a look at this video which shows his scenes side-by-side with the scenes that inspired them: http://digg.com/video/tarantino-movie-references. My personal opinion is that this is symbolic of the belief that we are inspired by all that we have seen and experienced up to this very moment, and to deny that this influences our perceptions is fairly short-sighted. Accepting this notion is something that can be helpful to therapists, clients or just regular folks casually reading this blog post. A big part of Tarantino is his precise use of language. Consider the scene in which Tim Roth’s Mr. Pink (in the screenplay excerpt below, known by his real name, Freddy) is being trained to be an undercover cop in Reservoir Dogs, and what the more experienced officer tells him: HOLDAWAY: It's like a joke. You remember what's important, and the rest you make your own. The only way to make it your own is to keep sayin it, and sayin it, and sayin it, and sayin it, and sayin it. FREDDY: I can do that. HOLDAWAY: The things you gotta remember are the details. It's the details that sell your story. This same theme reoccurs in The Hateful Eight, in which the fraudulent Lincoln Letter is praised by John Ruth for a touching detail: “‘Ole Mary Todd’s callin’, so I guess it must be time for bed’ … that gets me.” Another major component of the postmodern therapies is the belief that language shapes our reality and that how we speak about things shapes our opinion and perception of them. This is why, as a therapist, I will press people for details about what they are experiencing. Yes, therapy is about “opening up.” But something has to happen, too. Efforts to shift how we speak about things are everywhere. To take a fairly recent, obvious example, consider the shift in verbiage from “illegal aliens” to “undocumented workers.” Or the shift in language about the Oregon militia members, who are now being referred to by the media as "militants." These different terms are intended to refer to the same group of people, but give different perceptions of the people being spoken of. Choice of words may also show the beliefs of the person doing the talking. This sort of shift in language plays a huge role in the success of the postmodern therapies. The parent of a child I worked with in the past told me “I don’t really know what you’re doing, but whenever we talk to you things seem to be happening and whatever was going on gets better.” I took this as a huge compliment, obviously, but it also shows that even subtle shifts in language usage can be very effective. Consider the simple but powerful example of a client saying to me “I’m depressed.” I may repeat this back later as “you’re feeling down but you’re taking some steps to work on it.” Oftentimes I will notice the client using this phrasing later in the session, and I believe that they will talk like this outside of the office, which I hope will lead to a feeling of progress, which will, in turn, be reflected in reality. The takeaway, for you, is this: think about one challenge in your life that you would like to overcome. Now ask yourself “how am I talking about this problem/barrier/obstacle?” Oftentimes, you may be talking in ways that are defeatist or self-negating. My challenge to you is to talk about this problem as if it is in the process of going away. Be very observant of the effects on others. Do people sense your optimism? If so, what are these people noticing about your behavior? What are you doing differently? In time, you may see new solutions to your problems, or the way you perceive them may change. And, if that doesn’t work, just go watch some Quentin Tarantino films. Mike McMahan is a therapist in private practice in San Antonio, Tx. ![]() I finally (finally!) saw The Hateful Eight. I’m a confirmed Quentin Tarantino fanboy, so I was really behind the curve on this one and I’m glad to be caught up. Before we get to the psychotherapy/self-help portion of this post, let me give my $.02 on this flick. I really liked it a lot, but I don’t think it is one of his top films, which I consider to be Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Inglorious Basterds, followed closely by Django Unchained. That said, I really, really like all of his movies a lot and find them endlessly re-watchable as well as thought-provoking. The Hateful Eight is no exception. So, since I’ve seen the movie, safe to say there will be a couple of mild *SPOILERS* ahead. If you’ve seen the film, you know that most of it takes place in a cabin (that is actually a store) known as Minnie’s Haberdashery. Summarizing the film is beyond the scope of this post, so let’s just assume we’ve all seen it and move on. If you haven’t seen it, just bookmark this and come back later! When someone walks into my office and tells me about their life, it is not unlike the arrival of the characters at Minnie’s. I know nothing about them, except what they tell me. This is the same situation that John Ruth encounters as he meets Joe Gage, Oswaldo Moabry and Bob, The Mexican. Their stories of their life and what they choose to tell him (or leave out) is all he has to go on. It might be said that this is often true of any people we meet, but let’s just stick to The Hateful Eight here. Minnie’s Haberdashery is not unlike my office, in that it is a controlled, confined space. The clients are there by choice and I, the therapist, am entering their life by choice. As Joe Gage says when John Ruth asks if he is in Gage’s life story: “you just entered it.” People can be whoever they want to be, as I know no one else in their life and no way to verify if what they are telling me is the “truth.” I usually don’t try to determine whether what I’m being told is the “truth.” I presume that since the client is there voluntarily, they are at least telling the truth as they understand it. It is my job, as therapist, to draw out the details and flesh out their story. The more details I know, the more there is for me and the client to discuss, which lets us collaborate on an approach to whatever has brought them into my haberdashery. I believe that the ability to re-invent yourself in a therapist’s office is one of the key benefits of therapy. It’s been said that the therapist’s office functions as a microcosm of the world, and that the conversation and relationship that occur will mirror the “real world.” If this is the case, I hope that my clients do take the time to re-invent a better version of themselves, and that they carry this better version out into the world. Because the good news is, unlike the unlucky folks who wind up at Minnie’s Haberdashery, we’ll all be leaving my office alive. Presumably…. Mike McMahan is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Antonio, Tx. ![]() It’s your party, and you can go ahead and cry if you want to. But maybe there’s a better option…? I have always been passionate about the idea that DJs are musicians and that a set of turntables are a musical instrument. I’m not talking here about someone that simply spins classic records one after another. I’m talking about someone who remixes and reinvents on the fly. As I consider any ordered set of sounds music, I don’t understand how people don’t consider DJs “real musicians.” One thing I’ve always enjoyed about a good DJ set/mix is the way certain themes or vocals samples may pop up at different times to give the set a thematic unity. Knowing next to nothing about actually being a DJ, I’ve assumed that the reason that DJs do this is because, well, people like it. They’re entertainers, right? They want people to dance and have fun so they’re invited back to spin again. If I were a DJ, I would choose a sample/beat/phrase that people responded to as my “theme” for the set. So why not take a similar approach in our personal lives? I’ve often seen advice about job interviews that suggest you should go into the interview room with one or two anecdotes ready to tell and make sure you work them in. This strategy is proactive, causing you to consider the questions and a way to make them work to highlight your particular strength. Perhaps about a particular skill that you perceive as valuable or maybe a story about a change or innovation you brought to the table that later increased productivity, sales or whatever. What I’m suggesting is that you see each day as a sort of DJ set. What is a skill that has helped you solve problems in the past, and how can you apply it to new challenges each day brings? You have to be prepared to spin that particular sample all day long. Are you good at scheduling at the office? Maybe you should work on keeping your kids on a schedule if you are frustrated with getting them to behave. Maybe you should schedule your free time in order to increase productivity, as opposed to saying “after work I need to clean and give the dog a bath.” Are your friends often telling you that you’re funny? Perhaps you should apply that sense of humor to frustrating situations, as opposed to blowing up, pounding your fist, or whatever it is you do. The strength you choose should be active and applicable to multiple situations. When asked about their strengths, clients will frequently tell me “I’m nice.” That’s great—we need more nice people in the world. But how will being “nice” be applied in a functional way to challenges that you face? Keep in mind as well that a sample is generally a small part of a longer work, such as a song or movie. You likely have a multitude of strengths to pull from, but some may not be as valuable or applicable as others. So how about it? What is your key strength? And how will you make it the theme of your day? Mike McMahan is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Antonio, Tx. Kudos to Hayden Panetierre for being willing to speak publicly about her struggles with postpartum depression. Though the stigma associated with receiving mental health services has decreased markedly in recent years, it still remains and it takes a certain dose of courage to be as open as she has been. Personally, she will always be Claire from Heroes for me and, despite being a mother in the decidedly sloppy reboot Heroes Reborn, she doesn’t seem old enough to even be a mom!
According to ABC News (http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/hayden-panettiere-happy-stand-women-postpartum-depression/story?id=36367730), the star of Nashville gave birth in December of 2014 and checked herself into an inpatient facility for treatment in October of last year. The Mayo Clinic (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/basics/definition/con-20029130) lists the following symptoms for postpartum depression:
If left untreated, postpartum depression may linger and become worse. If you feel you are suffering from this illness, please speak to your doctor or contact a mental health provider. Mike McMahan is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Antonio, Tx. |
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